In case you missed it, I auditioned for a TEDx talk in another town several hours away, back in September 2018 and was accepted for the main talk (called conference) scheduled for January 2019.
However I have decided to pass on the opportunity this year, with the agreement that I have the option of presenting at the Conference in January 2020 instead.
Yes, I realize this was a huge opportunity as it has been on my bucket list for 10 years. However, you may not know how intense the scheduling and deadlines are to do a Ted Talk of any kind.
During the process I have received several questions that I will briefly answer here while I’m on the topic:
(1) No, you do not get paid to do a TEDTalk, in fact you incur expenses in the form of time, money, and energy! Personally I do donate a lot of time, money, and energy to things I am passionate about so this was not a big deal to me. But if traveling is problematic or you have budget concerns, definitely consider this before applying to audition.
(2) If you work an 8-5 job or have small kids, I am not sure how you would handle this without a ton of support and a very understanding boss. Thankfully I have always worked for myself.
(3) If you have health concerns, the stress with the TEDx scheduling & often unrealistic expectations will likely exacerbate symptoms.
(4) All other questions are best answered at your local TedX location since all operate a bit differently.
Now the question I am getting is WHY?
Well, without getting into a ton of details, this should help give you an idea as to “why”:
- I missed out on almost a month of planning script-wise because someone I was close to was in ICU in a hospital in another state.
- I was against a deadline to consider moving out of state (great offer that I am still contemplating in the forensics field of course)
- Someone in need moved in with us.
- I was helping financially & emotionally support my loved ones during their stressors.
- I am working on the next book of my self-help series which is due to publisher in a few days. This book series is my true passion-project, and…
- All of this combined caused my already-chronic MS symptoms to flare-up non-stop for 11 days, in which I was minutes away from ER on two occasions.
Normally I can handle the stress because God knows my life has been full of it. But, why give myself more stress if I have a choice to say “no more”?
In addition, most people do their TEDTalk for a few main reasons: (a) to gain credibility to write a book… I have written dozens over 30-year career; (b) to gain credibility as an expert in their field… I’ve done that too, starting in 1987; and (c) to bring more clients to their business… everyone could use more clients right? I am not money-minded or materialistic so this alone was not enough to push myself to the breaking point.I had an amazing time at the audition but doing this main, upcoming talk would have given me nothing but a ton of stress and some bragging rights. That is not a win-win in my opinion.
And don’t get me started on the contract I had to sign.
In a nutshell, if I want to continue being around for my kids and grandson for many more years, I have to put my health first, and that is exactly what I did.
In case you are wondering… NO, this was in no way an emotional decision. The timing simply was not aligned. After contemplating it very deeply for two weeks, I am feeling an enormous amount of relief. I am at great peace with my decision.
So I guess I am sharing this with you in case you find yourself doing for others, instead of yourself…
Unfortunately my adult children aren’t pleased with me but I do not do things for their approval, nor do I seek their permission. However, I do understand their disappointment… I guess it is kind of a big deal to say, “My mom did a TEDTalk”. Instead of passing judgement and being downright rude, I just wish they would have said, “As long as you are happy mom…”, but they didn’t. Maybe they should consider how much I help them both, and since stress is a major cause of death, if I die… my emotional and financial assistance stops. So all I can do is remain confident that one day they will understand the importance of living for themselves… and not living to please others.
If you “get it”, I sincerely appreciate your support.
Either way, I am very grateful for the life I have had and, at the end of the day the only one who needs to be happy with my decision is me, and I am.
Mozelle Martin has been an an international Forensic Handwriting & Body Language Expert, Law Enforcement Trainer & Case Consultant since 1987. She holds a Master’s in Forensic Psychology and Criminology. She has been a commentator on media outlets such as ABC, NBC, TruTV, Crime Watch Daily. She is a former consultant for the writers of the Criminal Minds show. She is the creator of the NGT. She is a licensed investigator in the State of Arizona with training in related topics such as Crime Scene Investigations, Forensic Photography, Medicolegal Death Investigations, and more. She is also an approved provider for the Bureau of Justice Assistance (BJA) National Training and Technical Assistance Center (NTTAC).
FOLLOW MOZELLE @ www.MozelleMartin.com